Saturday, February 27, 2010

Pressing On

I feel like I'm missing a week of my life.

From the absence on this blog, it looks like I could be missing two. But, February 14-19 I was alive and well; just very busy, and without inspiration or time to write. This last week is the time I haven't felt very alive. And looking back, I don't have much to show for it either.

I have valid excuses. The slight sore throat I felt a week ago Friday turned into a horrible sore throat that lasted 7 days, accompanied by reoccurring fever, chills, aching ears, and a stuffy head. I didn't feel like doing anything; I just wanted to get well. I laid around a lot, slept more than I thought was possible, watched a few movies, and managed to follow most of my study schedule. By God's grace I was even able to teach dance classes, though my students had to put up with a horribly weird-sounding voice! But, most everything else I "needed" to do last week never got done. It's amazing how your perspective changes when you're sick.

Yesterday I woke up late again, but was immediately gratified to find that I could swallow without pain! Later that day I could even breathe through my nose! Today I'm feeling completely recovered, though a bit sleepy still, and it is wondrous to feel alive. But... it's hard to tackle what needs to be done when it hasn't gotten done for a week. I don't know where to start, and motivation is sadly lacking.

I admit that I'm a "human doing" more often than not. It's hard not to be, when there's just so much to be done! Dad told me this week that I was learning to be a "human being" - but I didn't enjoy it very much. It didn't work well into my schedule. It was weird to live a week without an alarm clock. And, human beings shouldn't feel miserable, like I was.

But I know what my dad was getting at. It's something he's reminded me of so many times: we're human beings, not human doings. I too often get so caught up in rushing around, doing this and doing that, checking this off my to-do list and staying on track, that I lose the joy of daily living, the joy of relationships.

There's a balance to be found, but I haven't found it. I have plenty of moments of laziness in between all those productive pursuits. As I face a week with a lot to do - things that really do need to be done - things to plan, sew, study, sort, clean, create... the list could be endless. I don't really even want to start. But, by God's grace, I will continue pressing on.

I can't do most of want to do tonight, but I can do a small part. I can get good rest to make sure my body completes its recovery, and I can enjoy fellowship with the Body of Christ tomorrow. And when Monday comes, with the alarm clock back to its early announcement, I can rejoice in the fact that my days are in God's hands. If I follow Him, He will show me what I'm to do for His glory (1 Corinthians 10:31), and when I'm simply to be still and know He's God (Psalm 46:10).

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." (Philippians 3:12)


Joanna said...

Thank you, Anna, for posting this about being human beings, not human doings. It's often hard to remember this!

Elisa said...

Be careful not to try to do too much, too soon. I had a similar cold in January. After a few days I felt much better so I went out and helped my Dad do some shoveling. Unfortunatly, by that evening had relapsed and felt worse than before. The cold hung on for a very long time and it was almost a month by the time I was really healthy again. So please make sure to take it easy, even if you think you are better.

Rachel Ann said...

It is so easy keep going when it seems like there is too much to do when you should be taking a break. I am feeling that way right now, since I have several tests and assignments due during the next week (before college Spring Break).

Mark Kelly said...

Dear Anna,

Thank you for your post on being and doing. This is something that I have long spoke about, by realizing our beingness, because of our Father the Source of All Life, we can then activate and appreciate what we are doing, and by doing so activate our true purpose to lead happy, healthy, and spiritually active lives.

May the Peace of the Divine be with you both always, you are two amazing ladies.



Becca said...

Anna, I'm glad to know that you are doing better...I am glad you posted this about being "human beings" and not "human doings". It is hard to realize this sometimes. I recently took off a semester in school because my mom had passed away in January. I am glad I did this because it gives a lot of opportunities to spend more time with God than before, and that is exactly what I need. I will continue to pray for your sickness to leave you, and ask that you pray for my family in return. It's been rough that last couple months, especially for my dad. Thank you Anna, for being you, and for helping others know God through you. God Bless You!

Ella said...

Anna, I have been praying for you, as you know. Now, it is my turn to have some ailments I guess. My stomach is really bothering me, my ears are stuffed it's annoying, but God is good.

And keep in mind--you did do some things this week. You booked a trip =)