Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Siblings: Younger Brothers

If you have younger siblings, in particular, brothers, then you've probably wondered more than once, like me, what in the world God was thinking. =) The times that I have wanted scream and pull my hair out have been many. I used to ask God if He had accidentally put me in the wrong family (I was much younger!) but God doesn't make mistakes. So now I ask if it's His way of forcing me to learn patience, a virtue that I am considerably lacking in. =) But then there are times when I am thankful to have my two younger brothers around. So, what can we do to build better relationships with our younger brothers? As I am still working on this, we can learn together.

Encourage Them

Most boys are always trying to act tough and if they have older brothers, then they will try and measure up to them and earn their approval. Sometimes, they will take on a project that may be a bit too much for them, but we shouldn't discourage them in the attempt. As sisters, we need encourage our younger brothers in their aspirations. If they succeed, then they deserve to be praised and if they fail, we need to be there to console them and to encourage them to try again. It can be anything from admiring their handiwork to commenting on how strong they are (they love that!), but the comments will always be appreciated even if it's not shown.

They Get Older

As our younger brothers get older, they will look more and more to us for affirmation in other areas. If we think badly of them and verbally express that, they will begin to think that other girls will think the same of them, causing them to be reluctant to make friendships with other girls. This can cause problems later on for them, so a lot depends on the way we treat our young brothers. That being said, we should be careful not to run them down and if they need corrected, we should correct in love.

I'm the sister of five brothers and I still don't consider myself an expert. I continue to learn new things about brothers all the time.

Do you have any younger brothers?

Can you add any advice or recommendations that come from your own personal experience?


Ella said...

Do something that brothers like to do. Like in my case, I do sports things with Garrett. Whether it be fantasy things on the internet or playing baseball computer games. He likes it and it does a lot for building a relationship. Also, you can win a heart by catering to the stomach!

elena said...

I have two younger brothers and they drive me crazy! I have found, though, that if you treat them like they are a bother to you, they try to impress you and then they REALLY are a bother. But if you at least pretend that you are listening to their crazy invention or something they feel better and leave you alone. By being nice to your brothers now, you'll build the men of the future!

Clare said...

My brother and I are very close, but I must add it has not come 'naturally'! I think one of the main factors, that we are close is that from a very young age we have done things together. When I was young he would play doctors and nurses with me, then I would play in the sand with him. Now that we are much older, it is getting a little harder to do as much with him. But he always appreciates when I can play the gutiar with him, just stand over his shoulder and watch something he has created on the computer or just sit down somewhere quiet and have a chat together. I think being together and giving time for each other is important, or even though you may not be interested in what he is doing - look interested!
You'll find, in time, he will give you time for the things you have interest in too.
Also as we have grown I have begun to noticed that our affection for each other has slowly dimminished. Oftentimes we are both working, and on different hours, so I'm not there when he leaves for work, but when he comes home I often give him a hug and tell him how much I appreciate his hard work, and that someday someonelse special will too ;)

Forgive me for such a long winded comment, there is so much more I could add but I shall leave it here. Blessings, :)


Gabriela said...

Good post. This post was in perfect timing. I do not look at the situation my brothers are in, rather I treat them like I treat anyone else. Even good friends. That is a good thing for them since they might be having it tough at school or life in general, so they do not need me to be weighting them down too. I should be doing the opposite, lifting them up.

Anna Naomi said...

Great post, Miriam! I obviously don't have younger brothers, but in my interaction with younger boys, babysitting and so on, I've noticed that they really want affirmation. Tell them that they did a good job, affirm them for the kind or gentlemanly thing they did, and they will continue to do it! You older sisters have the wonderful task of shaping young men. Be loving and affirm them in their gentlemanly roles.

taekwondochick said...

I have a younger brother, and he really gets on my nerves sometimes. I've found that if we play a game together, or just laughing together helps us become closer. Sometimes I'll just go and sit next to him and we'll just talk about stuff. Another thing I've learned is to let him do stuff in his own time. It does help, at least for my bro.

Virginia said...

I agree with elena, if I listen to my brother, or at least, pretend to, he stops bugging me more than if I truely ignore him.