Friday, June 06, 2008

Real Gentlemen Exist!

Any girl at or approaching marriageable age will tell you: there seems to be a shortage of real, Godly men now-a-days! The same could be said by men looking for Godly women, I'm sure, but it often seems like there are more true women ready for marriage then men for them to wed.

While at New Attitude, a conversation came up in my small group that was very encouraging to listen to. We were getting to know each other better, and talking about college studies and life aspirations, when one girl mentioned how, when she would tell her friends that she wanted to follow God and be a wife and mother, most of them would be quite skeptical, telling her that good men didn't exist. Instantly, one of the young men exclaimed, "It is so encouraging to me to hear girls say they want to be a wife and mother! There are so many girls that just pour their lives into their careers, saying they want to make a difference and influence others. But what is more influential then being a mother?" The group leader chimed in, "Yes, for us men, when we see Biblical femininity, it helps us respond so much better with Biblical masculinity." I was pleasantly surprised as I heard the thoughts of these two seemingly "typical" college students. Here were young men that actually cared about, indeed were encouraged to see young women wanting to be wives and mothers as their primary "career" in life!

It can be discouraging for us young women at times, wondering whether there really are men worth waiting out there in the world. Yet, glimpses of a real gentlemen can do so much to encourage us to continue on in the journey in Godly womanhood. I don't know if guys know how much their small ways of showing that they respect women impact and encourage us. If there are any young men reading these, please, please do not give up! Even if your gentlemanly ways seem to not be appreciated, be assured that there are young women watching and being encouraged in their own walk because of your example. Even just holding a door for a lady can go a long way!

And ladies, it's our responsibility to be women worthy of respect. Remember that conversation I heard? The men respond with Biblical masculinity better when they see Biblical femininity displayed. It isn't to say that men should only be courteous or respectful to women who are acting in a ladylike way - we should all be kind to everyone, no matter how "deserving" they are - but it certainly does help gentlemen when we act like true ladies. Does a man hold the door open for you? Thank him! Does he bring you a drink of water? Again, thank him!

Sisters especially have a huge impact on how their brothers will act around women. Encourage your brother to be a gentleman, and he will often rise to the challenge. As part of your thanks, look for ways to serve him. Refill his water glass at the supper table if it's empty; tell him often how much you appreciate him and write him a letter that he can treasure, encouraging him to continue on. Little things go a long ways. The same goes for how a daughter acts around her dad. I feel so special when I walk to the car and my dad opens the door and waits for me to get in. Though I could easily open any door myself, dropping back a few steps and waiting for my dad or brother to open it allows them to be a gentleman, and though they do it often, I try to never take it for granted - a sincere "thank you" along with a radiant smile is always welcome!

Real gentlemen do exist. I am blessed to know some, and I know there are more out there, even when it may not seem so. Gentlemen, thank you for all you do! And ladies, let's not forget to be ladies. If we do, even seemingly unlikely men will rise to the challenge and act like gentlemen, responding to our high standards as young women of worth.


Bethany said...

That's very encouraging. Thanks for sharing!

Maria Pauline said...

Amen Anna! After all, "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." Women can make such a bigger impact on this world through motherhood than through a prestigious career.

Anonymous said...

What a lovely post! I really appreciate this. I know of a few gentleman myself, it is wonderful just knowing there are some. :) For any gentleman out there who may read read this, I second the opinion. You are very appreciated! Thank you very much for just standing firm and being different. You can be sure you ARE noticed, even if nobody says anything. Elaina A.

Ella said...

That was a good reminder. How wonderful to hear guys say that wives and mothers are important, though! That is so rare....or seems to be!

Elijah Lofgren said...

I'm thinking more and more that if you want to have a lasting impact on the world, you'll do it mainly by the children that you raise.

Some quotes I've collected:

"God first, spouse second, children 3rd, everything else after that" - pastor on Radio who learned to raise his kids without regrets

"A lot of people say they wish they spent more time with their kids"

"The most effective evangelism there is is to have lots of kids and raise them up to follow the Lord. More than 12 may be approaching too many depending on hoew much time you have. Birth control is good but if you overdue it and don't have any you're cheating yourself and the Christian community. BETTER TO LIVE IN A TRAILER PARK and have your wife stay at home and provide for your wife and kids than to live in a well to do neighborhood and have the wife work and have others bring up your children.
Spend time with your children individually.. Honeymoon money could be better used after you become really good friends. Love wife as Christ loves church.. - Dr. Graff in a Circuits 2 devo on April 3, 2008

I don't want raise fruit but an orchard -- Mike farris (ask anna for exact quote)

Children have their core values set by the time they are 13. - George Barna

Mothers and fathers are VERY influential!

I've VERY thankful to both my parents for all the time and energy they have poured into our family.

Thanks for posting this Anna!

Sloan said...

So ENCOURAGING Anna! Thanks for the wonderful post as usual!

Sloan <><

P.s. Are you going to date or are you going to court?

Anna Naomi said...

I'm glad it encouraged you girls! It really encouraged me when I heard it, and I've had this post swirling around in my head for a while. =)

Sloan: I'm "committed to courtship" as they say. =) I don't know how all the logistics of it will work out, but I won't be dating around for fun - when I court, it will be to get to know someone for the purpose of figuring out whether marriage between us would be glorifying to God.

Sheila said...

So well said. Very encouraging to remember. Of course, I don't think it's wrong for us women to have a career, but when we put motherhood forward as a priority, then I think we are doing it right. :)

Blademonkey said...

This is good, I hope there are many more maidens of faith for all of the godly men out there.

I am truly happy for this.

As for me, I walk alone.

An Ethereal Forest of Stars said...

Yes, there are real gentlemen still left. I'm so blessed that my husband is one of these, and a Christian too! He's always opened doors for me, done little things like that that go a long way. It encourages me as well, to tell him how much I appreciate him for the big and small things he does. :)

I hope young women don't lose hope. I know some believe there are no more godly gentlemen left in the world, but they are! Be patient and trust the Lord and He will lead one to you, God-willing!

Anonymous said...

It's nice to hear that, if, a girl starts acting more 'ladylike' the guy would be more of a gentleman. I think the reason guys seem a little 'soft',although I don't like macho, is because girls and women are becomming more aggresive in nature (i cant stand much tv watching because the female character is too pushy) in the older movies, the women, although weren't pushovers, showed a feminine side