The online world; it's full of writings from a wide range of people about almost any topic under the sun. Browsing through blogs, you can read about one girl's new skill, another's accomplishment, and yet another's successful project. Rarely do you read about hard stuff, about when someone feels down or something flops. It can be good - after all, a blog really isn't the place to share all your woes! But, by just reading someone's blog, it's easy to come to the conclusion that they're perfect! Sometimes you begin to feel as though you can't measure up, especially after reading some of the wealth of things out there! However, let me remind you again: nobody's perfect.
In reading my writings, you'll see my joy of journaling, joy of sewing, joy of cooking, joy of caring for children... you get the idea. While I'm glad that our blog can be an uplifting and encouraging place, I must be honest: I'm not always joyful. I have hard days and hard times; I feel downhearted and discouraged; I sometimes feel ready to quit... but in all theses times, His grace carries me through.
It can be so easy to be hypocritical, writing one things about how we should live, then doing the exact opposite. I can enthusiastically talk about doing hard things, but do I do them on a daily basis? No, to be honest, I don't.
It's a daily battle, dying to self. Even while writing this, Jubilee walked in and wanted my help with something yet again. I didn't want to get up, break my concentration, and help her; I wanted to stay in my comfortable position and scribble away, but I went. Other times, I'm not so helpful. Again and again I'm given the choice - how will I respond?
For the most part, people would describe me as mature and stable, not prone to extreme highs or lows, but pretty constant. However, sometimes the way I present myself on the outside differs from the turmoil I feel inside. Not many know just how deeply I feel sometimes, just God, my journal and I fully understand. Yes, I am somewhat of a private person. =) When the weight falls on my chest, I try to steal away for a little while, seek precious solitude and write, read, and/or pray.
Another knock on my door, another interruption. Irritation lurks below the surface as I try to answer nicely. There's daily tests of character, daily battles waged inside... Sometimes I win, sometimes I fail. Always, I'm grateful for the all-surpassing grace of my Lord. He is there to pick me up each time I fall and help me carry on.
So be forewarned; the way my life looks through this blog is much nicer and more polished than the actual struggles day-by-day. I try to be sincere and honest, but it's more natural to share triumphs and encouraging happenings. So remember, often you're reading only one side of the story. I'm not perfect. Another thing to remember: what I write isn't perfect. I don't have all the answers, but I try to share out of my experiences. However, my experiences and opinions probably differ in some way from yours. I in no way have it all figured out!
My prayer is that as you read, you'll see the faithfulness of my Father displayed in this life He leads me through.